Captain Asshole

Italian newspaper La Stampa, has released the tapes from Costa Concordia's Voyage Data Recorder. They revealed that the captain of the ship, Capt. Francesco Schettino, is actually a bigger idiot than previously imagined. 

Main cause of idiocy: mullet

After performing a salute to a retired colleague who lived on the island of Giglio, the ship collided with rocks and listed over which resulted in the death of thirty people. Having been seen drinking and dining with a young, blonde Russian lady earlier in the evening, the captain has also admitted to being distracted while on deck.

"Hey, you know what, let me drive! I've been drinking and I don't have any other way to impress this sexy, young, blonde girl"-What all good captains say, just before taking command of a giant ship

The tapes recorded that after the collision, the crew were told to inform the local coast guard that nothing of significance had occurred and that there had been a blackout onboard. Capt. Schettino was recorded as saying "at most, we're going to need a tug".

"Just the one tug, please!"

The transcripts also note that the captain made a personal call to his wife 17 minutes after the collision. "Fabi, my career as a captain is over. We hit a reef, the ship is listing but I performed a great maneuver (and) everything is under control," he told her. "Don't worry, let's forget all this sailing and we can start another job."